Prodigal Sons

The spread: 28 points.
Old school: 7
New School: 35

So basically, my prediction is as follows. We get to the field and the old school sissies are still talking trash about the fit and fiddle new school Prods who are about to mop up the hillside with old school sweat and blood. All the while, in they're minds they're freakin out because they know that talk comes cheap and that's all they got. By the way, isn't all this talk just a lame attempt for compensation. Compensation for what? We all know what.....

The game begins and right out of the gate, Cavanna, or "Pedro" as many fondly refer to him as, throws a rocket to Aiden who is wide open because nobody is fast enough to cover him past five yards from the line of scrimmage. Old School Prods receive the ball after the first touch down. After receiving the ball, old school burns four to no avail. Pedro for president, back on the field, gets the ball in a shotgun and pulls his PCL (I think that stands for Pat Cavanna Ligament or Posterior Cruciate Ligament...not sure. Who cares, he's done). Bergy takes over for one down and then we remember that he was too much of a slacker to show up, so we take him out of the game as well. See ya Sunday, Bergy. Aiden's in. Since he can't play QB and receiver at the same time, he just throws it to Conrad for another easy 7.

OS - 0, NS - 14. Helgy's on the sideline shuffling. Man he's good.

Once again, team Father Time has a chance to make something happen, but as Joe Berlucci as their fearless leader, who knows. So they try to run the ball because Pic is still stretching on the sideline. Nick Petro gives the ball to Big Spic, but he can't get through NS's line, and he knows this. You know this, man. Not with a line up like Jamon "Junkyard" Copeland, Eddie "Gorilla" Ross, Mikey "Mt. Fuji" Lafever, Joe "Rambo" Sterett, and Peter "The Dude" Firmin. Not happenin. Pic's still stretching so they just go for the Hail Mary. One problem, nobody remembers how the Hail Mary goes. Cyril's pissed and he votes for a new captain. He rallies Garvey, who doesn't really care, but Beck and Big and Small Spic feel pretty strongly about it so Joe's out. Sorry Joe, you get to be the water boy. NS's ball.

Shuffle, shuffle.

Now the New Prods have the ball, and giving it to Brenden "Black Snake" McKeegan seems like a good idea. Nobody can catch him, but he somehow manages to get most of his clothes ripped off in the process. He enters the inzone with parts of a shirt and no pants. Why does this make Conall so happy?

OS - 0, NS -21. Schornack is smoking a cigarette on the sideline. What a great cheerleader. Meanwhile, Jake is capturing every phototastic moment on his miniature spy camera (he got a new one that's even smaller than before. Pictures coming soon to Imagestation).

OS gets the ball back after Lowicki almost fumbles the return. But Pic's in the game so things might work out after all. Since there are no hands on the team he doesn't have much to work with. An incomplete throw to Peach boy, and it doesn't look good. Finally, Pic tosses one to Joe Rod which catches the unexpecting New School Prods unawares. Old School is finally on the board.

Old School - 7, NS - 21. Pedro and his band friends take the field for the halftime show. Every halftime show can't end with a boob, I mean boom, but at least the Marching band will be cool.

Final half. Not many sober players back on the field because during the halftime Mike Lowzinski shows up with a keg and the latest beer pong table that he's made. This beer pong table is the mother of all tables. It's bottle cap studded, and has laminated memories in it for maximum pongage. Never leave home without it. Greg Kelly brought the solo cups (Johnny blessed them before they left the seminary).

Back to the game. This time the newest prods and even the ones who didn't make the shirt (that's where I'm getting all these names) take the field. They're athletic and they have their own flag foot ball team, so they easily score on the Old Schoolers. After two more touchdowns are scored, everyone decides it would be a better investment of time to drink out of the keg rather than continue to score points upon points on the lagging team. Both teams put aside their petty rivalry and come together at the keg. This is all after a prayer, of course, lead by Spinny who showed up out of nowhere.

This is my prediction, what's yours?